? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
