My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
