i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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