guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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