i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
