I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb