Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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