Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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