Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
