The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
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Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
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Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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