No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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