I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
