I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
