just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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