call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Someone shattered a urinal.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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