spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
