Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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