yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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