I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Every concussion has its silver lining
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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