I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Randomize
