some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
