she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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