So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
