I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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