so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
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