6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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