He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize