OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
