..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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