Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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