thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
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oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
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I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I want to be your penis for a week.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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