Your dad touched me again.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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