I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
