I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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