I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
