Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
