We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
