I think im going to throw up on grandma
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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