this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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