gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm getting married
To pizza
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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