Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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