i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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