my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
