omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
