sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
please come you make the beer taste better
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just high enough for therapy.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
