She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Randomize
