Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
