his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
my god I love twenty year old dicks
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
