And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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