Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
