Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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