how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
