Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
