you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Randomize
