After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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