its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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