He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
