i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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