If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
