I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
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We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
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I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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