Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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