The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize